The Truth About ‘Zillas
When someone finds out I plan weddings for a living, there are usually two reactions. One, mostly from people who’ve never planned a wedding, “How fun! It must be nice to party for a living!” HA! Two, usually comes from people who’ve planned a wedding and is accompanied with a look of pity, “Wow. That’s a hard job!” Both are sort of kind of true. But regardless of which reaction I get, there is almost always a follow up question. . .
“Wow, do you have to deal with Bridezillas?”
Oh, boy. My typical and polite response is “No. My clients are amazing! I’m very lucky.” This is very true. I’ve managed to attract and filter out couples that are great fits for the type of service I provide. This hasn’t always been true, I’ve had some really challenging, difficult, and downright mean clients. But to call them a “Bridezilla” or Groomzilla” does a huge disservice to all of us and doesn’t get to the root of this behavior.
““’Zilla” behavior is usually just a cry for help or a warning of a bigger issue. It’s rarely who they really are.”
WE made this “monster”.
As a 17 year veteran of the hospitality and wedding industry, I can confidently say, we (as an industry) get it very, very wrong when it comes to marketing to couples. There is so much talk of “Dream Wedding” the “Perfect Day” and making your wedding day a “Fairytale come true!” But the thing is, these are all “marketing fluff” and pretty far from the truth. While weddings can be very, very lovely, they are far from “Perfect.” It’s no wonder that the reality can fall short of a couple’s expectations, leading to frustration and disappointment. Not to mention, the industry has made couples feel they are entitled to special treatment no matter their budget or logistics.
It’s NOT about the wedding at all.
So often, when a couple is feeling frustrated or angry it has to do with something else completely. Unresolved family issues, apprehension about the marriage, or just the overwhelm of so many responsibilities. Lots of our couples are professionals early in their careers, parents, or full-time students. That’s a lot of pressure already without adding the pressures of hosting a wedding on top of it. Finances and family can add fuel to the fire.
How To Soothe the ‘Zilla
Bridezilla, Groomzilla, or Parentzilla, the secret is to get to the source of the anxiety. Are they worried about finances? Is there added family pressure? Do they have doubts about the marriage? Finding out the root cause can help us address it. Often times a budget review, “planning partner” meeting with family, or some premarital counselling is just what they need to get back on track and feel more themselves. “’Zilla” behavior is usually just a cry for help or a warning of a bigger issue. It’s rarely who they really are.
So the next time you hear someone being called a “’Zilla” or you run into one yourself, you might think twice about what might be going on beneath the surface.
